04

Update 29th March 2015

So there I was starting week 6 and thinking that the grunt part was over.

One week to go and then all thoughts have to be on recovery, THE GOING HAS GOT TO BECOME A LOT EASIER

So you think it starts to get easier!

How wrong was I……..

Your mind definitely changes and you think I’m done, yeah a week to go and I’m outta of here, the reality is very different…

I can’t eat, drink, swallow – ANYTHING!! with this you get headaches, nausea feeling and this thick mucus in your saliva that make you continually retch.

I need a break as I am knackered, both mentally and physically, I feel very weak and irritable, also I look in the mirror and I would see a very ill person, my face is probably thinner than I can ever remember, you suddenly look and feel very old, not pleasant at all.

Weight has bottomed out at 84 kgs ….. that’s 14 kgs down ….. and the cause of me feeling so weak.

I have no appetite, I am feeling extremely tired and worn out, in fact just completely shot to bits, I don’t know how much longer I can keep working for…I have been going in everyday for about 5 hours until I leave for my treatment in the afternoon, now I have treatment, go home and sleep for about 3 hours and still wake up knackered. So whilst I think I am getting over the hard part it becomes tougher in a different way

If I can give anyone any advise at this stage, listen to your family nagging you, as mine do, but they are right you must eat, you definitely must drink (I think that is one thing that has stopped me being hospitalized) and stay hydrated, otherwise the alternative is not good.

And then the final chemo therapy day arrives – that was last week Wednesday the 25th + the following day the 26th being final radiation day.

You silently throw a little party in your head + say > I got this beat.

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